The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So here I am sharing with you my problem; I work too much.
Sure, there are lots of reasons (read: excuses) why I work too much. I could blame my parents who were small business owners for 25 years who taught me a strong work ethic and demonstrated the hard work required to be so. I could blame my experience of being forced to work all the time while in school – a family of (at the time) 4 plus full-time school and the need to earn money required that I work a lot (either on school work or my job). I could even blame my current position in ministry where the mantra sometimes echoes in my head, “the work of the LORD is never done!”
But all those are really just excuses that let me off the hook for being responsible for my own actions.
The truth is, I’m insecure.
I’m worried that a job done to less than perfection is a poor reflection of who I am.
I’m worried that it will reflect poorly on my wife and kids; that they have a husband/father who can’t accomplish much.
I’m worried that unless I knock it out of the park all the time, my job might be in jeopardy so I at least make it look like if something fails, it isn’t my fault, because I have been working so much. (I should also point out that in no way have I ever been made to feel by leadership that my job has ever been in jeopardy)
I worry that if I ever get caught relaxing, it would damage my ministry.
Luckily, I have a loving wife, an understanding leader and a community around me that is able to stop this before it gets out of control and damages my family!
This past weekend, I exercised the discipline of not working and am much better for it! The next few blog posts will follow the theme of being a recovering workaholic, and truths I’ve begun to realize about it’s impact and the lies that damage your family. I am by no means an expert, and my boundaries are still blurry at times, but who knows, perhaps there is something in my journey that you are able to learn from!