Be a better parent
We all want to be better parents to our kids. Somewhere in my mind’s eye is an image of the ideal parent – the one I aspire to be like – but when I compare our own parenting with that ideal, too often I fall short. To try harder and fail is too much of a risk sometimes, so instead I retreat into being “too busy” or “too tiered” to get on the floor and play.
So how do I become a better parent to my kids?
By being a better husband to my wife.
The better I am at loving my wife and showing my love through my actions and words, the better I become at loving my kids because I am allowing my love to flow more freely.
So how do you love your spouse more?
- Tell them you love them… LOTS! – We made a resove in our house that our kids would never question the love between their mom and dad. In doing so, our kids hear “I love you” 20-30 times a day.
- Kiss your spouse before you leave – the power of kiss before you leave for work, school, errands, or just going out, is very powerful connection that affirms your love for them.
- Always build them up – Joanne and I make it our mission to never tear each other down in any way. This can be a subtle thing, and perhaps because of my gender, I hear many wives cut their husbands down – not with an axe – but with 1000 tiny papercuts. These tiny digs about “never” doing something or “always” reacting in a certain way. Women, whenever you say anything that isn’t used to build up the character of your husband – especially when you’re out with ‘the girls’ – you drive a wedge between you and him. The same does go the other way with husbands and the premise is the same – always go out of your way to build up your spouse even when the topic is “rant-about-your-wife” in the locker room!
- Go out for coffee – This is one that I don’t do enough! Take the time out of your schedule, get a babysitter for an hour and go grab a Timmies with your spouse. Leave your cell phones at home and take some time to just talk. Oddly enough, it might be awkward at first because you don’t do it enough, but talk about your dreams, the future, what you want to accomplish and then spend some time listening to what they have to say – no interruptions.
Make the effort to be a better spouse and you will naturally find that you are being a better parent!
As a parent, I am so far over my head.
If you’re a parent, you can probably relate. In my best moments, when my children are behaving, are in good moods, when the house is tidy and I’m on the floor playing with my kids, I can sometimes convince myself that I am best father on earth. In fact, if you were to walk by my house and peek in the window, you might conjure up some picture of me always being in control of this thing called parenting. You, of course, would be wrong.
Too often, my parenting style is a flawed one based on my experience of being parented by my flawed parents. I love them dearly, but they aren’t without their flaws and issues. Sometimes the things that leave my mouth are the same words that I might have heard my parents say in a similar situation. I am simply trying my hardest and using the best of my limited knowledge to raise adults. Sometimes, it isn’t so pretty.
But what if there were a different way. What if I could learn from the better fathers in our church? What if those who had gone before me and raised children who follow God could come alongside me for me to glean from their experience? I would have so many more tools in my proverbial parenting tool belt that would help make me a better father.
At PAC, we have an abundance of young children in our nursery, many more infants who stay with parents in the service and a lot of pregnant women in our congregation. I could safely bet that they feel just as over their head as I do when it comes to parenting. What if PAC Kids Rock was a place where families are equipped to raise godly children? Where in the nursery, seasoned parenting veterans could share some of their knowledge and skills simply by being with parents and playing with children? How many more parents could be equipped to be a spiritual leader in their house? How much better would the parents at PAC be from the efforts of those who have gone before us?
If you would like to make a difference in families I want to partner with you. If you want to disciple believers, there is a place you can do it in Kids Rock. If you want to leave a legacy that will outlive you, the families of PAC are eagerly looking for you to do so. Click here to begin the journey of equipping families!
Realizing that I haven’t touched this blog in far too long (actually I have about eight drafts that I haven’t finished writing), I figured that I would try a new technique of sitting down to write a blog post and only allotting myself 15 minutes to do so. I have a big issue with reading other bloggers, leaders and writers that (seem) to have profound things to say with each post (and they post at some ridiculous rate) which then paralyzes me and keeps me from writing for fear of having nothing profound to say.
I want to change that and get the creative juices flowing again!
So from this point forward, I hereby declare that Wednesday will now be known as THE 15 MINUTE BLOG POST DAY!
A few things that as parents that you need a heads up about:
- Soccer Camp – it’s back! July 8-12 from 8:30am-12:30pm we are hosting another soccer camp! Registration opens on March 10, it costs $40/child and that includes a shirt, ball, water bottle, daily snack, and all materials for the week. Trust me, you won’t want to miss this! Space is limited so be sure to register early!
- Good Friday – This year, we have our nursery open, as well as a great program for Preschool through grade 3. If you’ve put off coming to Good Friday in other years, you’ll want to be here on March 29th at 11am.
- Are you creative? – Kids Rock Ministry is looking for some creative types to help with various ideas and projects we are tackling. We need help with painting and designing sets, stages, promotions, graphic design, music, video editing/filming, crafts, etc! If don’t fancy yourself great with kids, but have a creative streak, partnering with this ministry and working from your strengths makes Kids Rock soooooooo much better! Please email, phone or comment on this post if you’re interested in hearing more!
My 15 minutes is up! That wasn’t so bad.